What you c is what you get

I cant say anything regarding a lot of things regarding other people when I find I've been exactly like that in my own way.So many things in the mass media in general lends itself to that.Events ,people,comments about people.There is little I can do to respond to anything I hear or c on line when I can relate or empathize in varieties of ways.I have all my tweets and sent one in response to someone saying "they know a secret".My response was vastly misunderstood as I advised "keep it to yourself that you do that".Its your choice anyway.I think it would be more fun to c if or how the person admits.I care about people and It doesn't make me feel good when conflicts arise in life and all kinds of resentments arise from some seeming misunderstanding.I find all this to be very very interesting regarding the actual lifelong facts of the people involved if certain situations exist.This is all extraneous stuff,but How does any response even to a hallucination or something I imagine work if the response is still going to be misunderstood from loose writing and firmly express freedom from hatred and negative emotion which 4 me is not something I blame other people for in general.All I can ever say to people is " ah so,I see" regarding their expressions of their thoughts of me.That would be my response in most cases one way or another.I suppose I could be vain if I thought certain things were about me,but my life is of course private and no less complicated like billions more.I am always glad when people make their choices regarding their feelings about my choices, even if through questionable auspices.I am glad 4 it although I can't think of anything to write!!!!! I can empathize,and understand how another person feels as best I can.I hear and read expressions from people about their feelings and no matter however its directed in any possible negative way I can't write a thing that hateful if it reminds me of me at this point.Which would be a lot .I do not think some ideas I had were very obviously finished about 10 months ago.I didn't take that running around was much of a big deal.It was a useful outlet 4 me 4 about 15 years especially as I was adapting to what was a different world 4 me.I know and realized when everything was "kiss my ass this" , "slide on a black dick that", how someone felt.I prefer other people as they are.All kind of folks have different ways to work things out that are private but often part of cycles and other stuff seem to collide.I don't want to feel angry with someone for how they feel about me.I imagine all kinds of possibilities as to things I c on line.I must admit I had foolishly thought there was something of value that I was communicating that might be useful.Ironically I did the things I did to be a free man who knew about himself for the benefit of a woman. So now marks my new and fresh start and that is something to celebrate.I have implicit faith because Nature will do what it will for people in a very equal way.I have no reason to feel malice from anyone so How would I respond as such,especially on computer whereby one can rarely know who is rapping on the other line.Music can however .Its very dicey though.Let's say I thought something was so as far as someones lyrics.WHAT SHOULD I SAY????????? The truth is I would be honest with any friend about it.I would assume they would not be uptight and after perhaps some period of time ,understanding the rather confusing person I am,then they would know who and how I am.I have nothing to add I guess.I reasonably would not know whether this post regards something regarding me or perhaps in part.I VERY MUCH understand the boundary line of someone's behavior where I know it has nothing to do with my actions or writings from long ago.I appreciate the sincerity and would have much to say if I thought I could without the possibility of bitter speech or being pegged that way.We shall c if I still feel as protective but I am expecting happy shining stars over the next month from people.P.S Pots are welcome to call the pan black regarding their personal sensitive activity and ways to blow of steam!!!!!!!!Have a happy Time anyways from my heart to yours.I have a place in my heart that belongs to you !!!!! If ever you wish to claim it,I have always been easy to find.That's strictly a joyful place however!!!! happy trails R U

DRIVE YOUR KARMA CURB YOUR DOGMA

CURB YOUR DOGMA.I do not believe discussion about philosophy is too much more than one person saying " it is" and the another saying "it isn't".I also am very interested in applied philosophy as it plays out in the day to day and think about philosophe. These blog posts I make started in about 2003 in order to re-learn how to write.All my friends and family agree my writing style is very different than I am in person when communicating.This is an ongoing project that demands repetition as I try and refine some content.Also,on account of my education I used to speak in a way that made others uncomfortable and punch me back in the day so It seemed practical to give up using my vocabulary,especially when selling paper to Tony Brusco's clan etc.I largely still do in conversation but enjoy using and abusing it here.I wish I had been able to complete my Post/statement regarding plagiarism which my Hard core Russian best friend was willing to contribute to,Namely a Tasteful photo of one part of her anatomy that is original not plagiarized as is the case with The vapid word lady who more than likely finds Dostoevsky to be boring.I am sure she is a kind person though as the camera does not lie and my friend made me watch her on that effing Oreily (blank blank , blank, blank ...and that's a fried .I always run from Russian woman and always will (on account of my close friend teaching me what Russian woman are capable of ) especially Ms Barbie Marina Petrovna or whatever her actual name is.I do want a free notebook however. My dear Russian speaking friend (originally) has not picked one book up in the twenty odd years i know her but she is also hard working hard core Punk/greaser Biker chick Italian first generation American.I expect a Russian to be well versed in literature and offer more poetry than the plastic boobs chic.Russians were that way in 1984 when I visited the former USSR.I love 'The brothers Karamazov' and always thought I was a little of each.Also......the subject matter which is 'Patricide" is fascinating.Whoever says they "know" is very suspect in my opinion;there is often an ulterior motive often just to mess up your life so that opinion Of mine ought give anyone a notion about my relationship with wanting to be considered "right".I like the mystery of life which paradoxically drives me to want to know the "how" of things.I am actively telling folks to figure it out 4 themselves wherever I go and at the same time share expressions of all manner of emotion and examples of effed up doodee I lived through.19 year olds often insist I just talk and ramble on as much as possible.My favorite speaker on the occult and " spiritual" said however..... "10,000 volumes of the finest words of wisdom do not equal a single moment of silence"(rammanna maharshi).As the body and the sensations you feel in the body on a normal day do not know "time", you can re focus your attention on body sensations(like breathing with its complex rhythms)and give the thinking mind which often gets lost in time,a needed break. I could not say that what I have written here exemplifies me much but I am no longer willing to castigate or excoriate on subjects and people.I could write some long pieces on popular culture but I can not c value in sharing anything which evidently is only good enough for someone to criticize with 5th rate pragmatism at times.Not at all always but when I say someone is a sophist I assume they understand I am deeming them incapable and unworthy of continued conversation along those lines. I was doing this "personal Blog" before therapists were recommending it and never meant it to be My treatise on life the universe and everything.I have to wait a bit till i can c the dentist on dec 15 but it should be quick and hopefully home by the new year.Interesting challenges here in west by God I must say.Here is my dogma though.Its that as soon as u need a rule you are no longer virtuous.It does not happen in and of itself anymore if you have made the rule.One creates the profanity by making the law.This is why I think,that humans use ambiguous sayings to communicate information.Precisely to curb the Dogma I will say to you "always remember every stick has two ends".I do not know why but most people instantly understand that very old expression I copped off of G.I Gurdjieff.Sometimes you create unbreakable bonds with someone in the process of hating on them.I do not know what's wrong with me but if someone says "anything you can do I can do better" I just feel sorry 4 them having to live in a world like that.I celebrate individualism ,virtuosity and the notion that each can find their own way,And that each has equal possibility 4 excellence in day to day response.Competition has no place in my world.I prefer a quantum universe to the Newtonian model of c'ing the universe as revolving around ones self interest.Obviously any statement implies its opposite as I repeat 4 your benefit.As its an ongoing work of mine I write it to encourage myself. These writings are very myopic relative to whats happening in my head and heart but its useful and surely will be entertaining to me twenty years from now when I can c how time has played things out.That's one reason Its worth giving up my love of tobacco and smoking electronic cigarettes instead just to be there in twenty years to continue commenting on extraneous toppix.I would like to do more writing which precludes my making wicked sarcastic comments that to me seem like plain old bitter cynical B.S which ain't me(although I got a trashy mouth sometimes).I am finally admitting misjudging people and that makes life easier.I don't know when I can be on line here in the wild mountains but sooner than not.Happy thanksgiving or Birthday or whatever day... in case....ba ba 4 a wahl.

HERE WE GO AGAIN

up to the mountains where they know most about bad teeth.Pretty thrifty if i can pull (hee-hee) it off.Its rough here 4 real Jack.Its god for my well being and fixing my teeth evolves a lot of admitting I care enough about my life, which is essential to levels of being in life.In my opinion.No p-u-tor here o mine so I have to sneak on.This seems like a tentative pain in the ass plan.

a picture is worth a thousand words......

And I'm just unable to get the words out in any meaningful coherent way.So, in the throws of laughing so hard I was crying I attempted to make a video twice but all I could get was me laughing and trying to say something.I saw my sagely psychiatrist and(actually i may not be afraid of acting adolescent but I am afraid of that action becoming compulsive or more obsessive than usual)....ahem...I said basically that I could not share certain things with her because they go beyond expectations one can have of a doctor and that I always try to respect that a patient must fallow the " psychiatric patient credo " to wit: " i'm crazy if I tell the doctor and paranoid if I don't ". She just could care the fuck less as long as I'm relatively healthy.I had a fine insight while strolling this morning that people who are very forgiving are often the type who never forget which explains why their extra forgiving.Their always in a conflict especially the sincerely forgiving and understanding because they wind up remembering things when mad or off in other ways which creates the worst conflicts for themselves often expressing things in an unreasonable way in a manner they do not mean.I feel certain that in the past 6 months on numerous occasions I assume I look like a dear staring in to a pair of headlights.That looks and feels funny to me because of the ridiculous way I write and talk sometimes. " cause I'm already standing on the ground ". I am not standing on 'rugs' now but the solid earth so there will be no mistaking.Because only the one who can pull the ground out from under me deserves the privilege of doing so.It can't be done by any but the one nature sends to do so.Its like the sword of king Arthur.Only he and he alone of all beings could pull it out.The only way to pull the ground out from someone, besides a host of narley ways to go about it which have very negative consequences, is by the actual fact of something.I can't really say anything about " Love " because you know......................You decide when someone falls in love.Ok so you decide.At this time I have to say " I was wrong " you scared me.However I now know what I didn't used to, that if I scare people knowingly or unknowingly it is inevitable someone will scare me back.You've seen all the comments that don't belong or make sense so I assume you c that me being scary is ridiculous just as my out of place comments are just well...a little emotionally and socially retarded.the Doctor says I'm her model patient and a poster boy for the emotionally retarded which she claims we all are to some degree.I told her that I will never stop screwing around on the computer as long as the universe has something funny, quirky and strangely interactive in a truly unusual way that engages the issues in my life that gave me and give me the most trouble.I have gotten much healthier as a result and my laughter which started up again in session and while I was having this laughing fit she said " it looks like it hurts",to which I said through the tears " it does but in a really joyous way.I must have been more upset than I realized because that just about only happens to me sober when Jon is around.You have fucking impeccable timing.No shit I ain't kissin yo ass when I say that.I understand disordered or " different " ways people think which is part of my love of the original,fresh and unexpected; But, I also did not believe that anyone could take words to heart and cut my sorrow in half and double by many times the joy.I have to have prepared myself to receive that by feeling some joy to begin with as I always repeat about good stuff starts within I guess that about proves it.I'm going to put the videos up.They are pretty short.In on I garbled bout " I'm sitting here and then I c this Y"ALL (giggles)........then the CHOPIN...................oh ........fuck me(as in i'm fucked now..... what am I going to do)", The other one was an attempt to say but ,I barely got it out, " The wicked witch of the west....................(screaming)....that means there has to be a wicked witch of the east".................. . It only makes sense because of the week I just had along with the many ones I know and have been close to and loved by.I think I will let it this b a minute, and, c if I can upload it if only to remind myself of what happened and stay cheerful. Normally when I laugh like that I expect to cry soon but I think this time the crying came first. C U